The birth of a social life.

One of the strange things about moving abroad on your own, is that suddenly, all your points of reference become irrelevant. I guess what I mean by that, is that everything is new and is so far removed from what came before that thinking about what was before becomes kind of pointless. Of course, all of the experiences I´ve had up until now make me who I am and condition my responses etc, but to a certain extent, you move into rational mode: How does this work? How can I meet people? Are these people trustworthy? Am I being understood? Could I be getting more out of this situation? Am I being careful? Where do I go? How do I get there?
Everything is a problem to be solved, whether it relates to socialising or logistics.

All of that is pretty exhausting - and I was wondering why I was so tired! 
The important thing to remember is that friendships take time and effort, and a community takes even more of that. The early stages of construction are the loneliest.
That said, after this weekend I'm actually pretty happy to have an evening in tonight!


On Friday I went to the University of Concepción to experience the infamous "ramadas":  celebrations that take place in different unis on different days with music, food and a hell of a lot of drinking. On numerous occasions, I've been informed that Chileans are pretty heavy drinkers, and whilst my students were eager for me to experience the ramadas, they were equally emphatic that I should be very careful, stay with a group, and leave early.
With this advice in mind, I set off to meet the Welcome to Conce group in Plaza Peru, just outside the uni so we could go in together. After standing around in the rain for a while, waiting for people to arrive, people starting heading in. I promptly lost the majority of the people I knew and ended up with an American I'd met the week before, her Chilean friend and his coursemates. Fortunately they all turned out to be absolutely lovely and we had a great time! Some more potential friends there methinks.

Spot the foreigners...

Half the group headed off pretty early, and the combination of wet/cold weather and my aforementioned warnings meant that I was more than happy to follow suit. It was a good experience, concluding with a hot drink and a fairly early night, meaning that I could get up early feeling refreshed for a long overdue session at the boulder.

Leaving early was a good decision.

Following a lazy Saturday morning, I headed out to meet a CSer who I had persuaded to come to the boulder wall after he'd suggested a bike ride around the city (I still don't have a bike). The wall was empty but for 2 other girls, and it was a good session. I made up a couple of routes and exchanged some with one of the girls who was taking lessons. Since the CSer seemed like a good egg, I invited him to join me at the gourmet food fair that I had two free tickets for from work. Gourmet tasters on an empty stomach was almost too much for me to handle after a couple of weeks on a repetitive diet consisting of whatever 3 ingredients I happened to have bought in bulk most recently. From flavoured manjar to greek olives to DIY cola, they had it all. Fantastic. After going round the stalls 3 times to ensure we really had tasted everything on offer, we hopped on a bus back to town to get on with our respective evenings.

Arriving back, time to get ready for a night in Cocholgue. A small fishing village, or caleta, about an hour from Concepción. My future landlord's family have a small holiday home there, so he and the rest of the flat were heading down for a BBQ and a bit of a party (carrete if you're in Chile) and I was invited. So after getting ready and the awkward experience of trying to stay out of the way of a newly developing couple, I went to meet my new CS friend, who had kindly agreed to lend me his sleeping bag, and set off in the car feeling privileged, since the others had all taken the bus. It just so happened that I'd come across most of the others the previous evenings in the group that I'd lost at the entrance to the ramadas!
It was an evening of choripanes (hot dogs), pisco (the national drink), guitar, cards, travel stories and stupid challenges in a marriage of European and Latino cultures,  - 4 Chileans, 2 French, 2 Belgian, a German, a Mexican and me - culminating in a walk to the beach at 5am and the confusion of going forward an hour in the middle of the night.

What do you mean you can't see the sea?

Sunday was slow. Half the group left early to get back and be useful while the rest of us went to the beach to medicate hangovers with a sea breeze and chocolate biscuits. That sorted, we went back to the cabin to clear up/learn to juggle before driving back.
Back in Conce, all I really wanted to do was snuggle in bed and then cook a good healthy meal. But it was the grandson's birthday, so that was impossible. On the plus side I did get some awesome cake! I was invited for coffee in the evening, so I went to do that and return the sleeping bag, but being Sunday evening, not much was open and we ended up going for a beer instead, where we discussed the benefits of dancing and he invited me to his Biodanza classes. I'll hold off trying to describe that until I've been, he was having trouble communicating what it actually was but it sounds like fun. :)


Fortunately, I don't work Mondays, so I could have another lazy one before going to meet a future house mate and his brother for a climb. They were late, but I ran into Francisca again, so this time we exchanged numbers so we can coordinate next week. My housemate's routes all tend to be pretty strength heavy, not ideal for me... So I stuck to my own stuff and tried to help his cousin, who had come along too but had never climbed before. Families seem to be pretty close here - but I guess people are less dispersed than maybe we are in England. It's also ridiculous how 6 hour journeys are quickly normalised in a country where everything is so far apart. Europe is so small and so densely populated! To put things in perspective, Chile is just under six times the size of England, but has roughly 1/3 as many people! My students keep asking me how many countries I've visited, and I feel obliged to justify myself by pointing out how easy it is to travel in Europe, that it's even possible to cycle across the borders, attempting to avoid highlighting the uncomfortable disparity of opportunity between us.
Luckily, economics doesn't come into it too often and a lot of the Chileans I've met are actually pretty well travelled. Most have at least visited other places in Chile! However, having already tried to explain my degree countless times, I'm coming to the conclusion that our economies call for radically different skill sets. Maybe that seems obvious, maybe not. Going to uni here means leaving with a profession: you can introduce yourself with a job title - I'm an engineer/translator/teacher. Being a developing country doesn't necessarily mean that everyone earns low wages, it means that the majority of jobs in high demand are practical skills, unlike countries like England where more people will be working in HR, management and administration. The transferable skills I've spent 4 years identifying and acquiring are still useful, but I'm yet to find a way of describing my studies in a way that makes my degree seem worthwhile to anyone here. I'll have to work on that before I start trying to get any other work...

I wandered back from the climbing wall via the market, and stopping into a tienda americana (second hand shop) for a browse on the the way to pick up a couple more jumpers. I'm now happily wrapped in a huge fluffy polo-neck branded "south-pole". Perhaps optimistic, but it is warm.
After showering and skyping the motherland, I went to join some of the Welcome to Conce guys in a bar a couple of blocks from my house. They had a friend visiting from Santiago who I got chatting to and clicked with immediately when she started offering advice on walking boots (would probably make for a successful chat-up line for me!). We ended up grabbing some food waiting for her friend when the others went for drinks elsewhere and it transpired that she was going to be spending the national holiday on a meditation retreat and was a big fan of all things outdoor, hitching, and long cycling trips. It's a shame she lives in Santiago, it was nice to have some female company for a change and it's rare that I get on that well with a girl! Eventually her friend, the owner of the cafe, appeared with her luggage and it turned out I'd met him the previous weekend at a BBQ! Dinner on the house, plus coffee to follow.

In all, it's been an extremely social few days, even by my standards, and I'm reassured that I'm already beginning to bump into people. I can see that it won't take long to create a community here and I already feel a lot more settled than I did on Friday (when I wrote the introduction to this post). Give it a week for me to move in with the Cocholgue gang and we'll be just dandy.